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  • Writer's pictureDeirdre Maloney


In the last few years I’ve come to understand mirroring, which is seeing the reflection of yourself in others. It is not only in a physical sense that this can happen; mirroring can also mean seeing bits of yourself in others’ characteristics and mannerisms. There are a few emotions that I am currently working on releasing. They include fear, shame, and judgement. I often see judgement being mirrored back to me, so I know I have a lot of work to do. I judge myself a lot. From the way I look, my age, weight, fitness level, and even to the way I behave with fear, shame, and judgement. I tend to feel my physical reaction to fear, anxiety, and

shame in my stomach. It’s always the first place I get a signal when my emotions are vibrating on a low level. What’s really interesting about this to me is that my stomach is the body part that I will attack first in a visual way. I’ve always believed it was too fat, thick, loose, or almost

good enough when I’m near a goal I’ve been working toward but never seem to reach. I’ve come to realize that because my emotional pain is held there, I have a negative relationship with the appearance of my stomach.

I remember during the first half of my relationship with Jon, any time he wrapped his arm around me while spooning and have his hand rest on my stomach; I would either guide it elsewhere or cringe and suck it up. I never understood the emotional side in those early days and recognizing that I have an issue with the appearance of my stomach because it’s where I hold my anxiety was a major step forward. Now he can have his hand there, and I remind myself that I am safe and beautiful exactly as I am. Fear and shame reside in my stomach, and they want me to vibrate low. This is an opportunity for me to practice gratitude and think of all the wonderful things this core part of my body can do. It held four children safely, practices yoga beautifully, and is part of my healthy inner system that keeps me in optimal health.

Children and relationships mirror our insecurities big time! Whenever I get anxious or upset about something involving my kids, I take it as an opportunity to self reflect. What is this trying to teach me about myself and acceptance? My oldest daughter often makes choices that my

husband and I don’t agree with, and it’s been challenging to let go of fear and shame. I truly believe that acceptance is key. Letting her know I don’t agree with her choice is ok and also letting her know that I still love and accept her brings us so much closer. I do believe this will help guide her to a better path much faster than placing my fears and shame on her, this would have us both vibrating at a much lower frequency, and the Universe responds to us with high-frequency vibrations like love, joy and gratitude. Finding ways to turn negatives, even the harsh, low and nasty ones, into positives is the quickest way to come to an end result that best benefits everyone.

Jon often mirrors judgement for me. If I feel overwhelmed by his negative judgement of someone, I self reflect and ask the Universe to guide me to acceptance. I know that his judgement bothers me because I struggle with it myself. He is my mirror. I honestly believe that if we want to be free of judgement of ourselves, we need to release our judgement of others. Finding ways to understand their pain, fear, and shame will help guide us to become more compassionate. I believe we have the right to disconnect from people that hurt us and bring us down; we can do this with grace, and it’s called detaching lovingly.

I have different mantras I repeat to myself when I’m having a hard time or as I meditate depending what’s going on in my life. With releasing Fear and Judgement being at the forefront right now, my current mantra is “I choose acceptance and joy.”

I encourage you to self reflect the next time someone drives you up the wall and ask yourself if they are revealing something you would like to shift in your life? Do you have a favourite mantra that helps keep you in alignment with your personal goals?

I would love to hear about it.

Be Well.

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